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A Dalai Lama I am Not

(From December 2023)


BC once said to me, “No one would ever mistake you for a female Dalai Lama.” And he’s not wrong. We had opportunity to test that theory after we both tested positive for covid last week and we’ve been together every day for the past eight days. I’m not sure if it has been harder on him or on me. They say the true test of a relationship is moving furniture. I say it’s more along the lines of surviving covid in the winter in Wisconsin. Thank goodness for seed catalogs and YouTube.





For those of you that don’t know, BC and I have been together just short of 14 years so clearly we like each other. We met when I was a 911 operator and he was a municipal officer in the same county.  He asked me out and after a few months we met for dinner. He gave me a hug and we just fit. The rest is history. 





We’re more alike than we are different. But our differences are notable. Today he had oatmeal for breakfast with brown sugar, cream and walnuts, topped with butter.  I had scrambled eggs with onions and tabasco and topped with ranch dressing.




He likes disco and Nat King Cole. I like the Moody Blues and Godsmack.  




His “smell swell” is Old Spice. I prefer Poison and Beautiful.


He watches documentaries and I prefer Disney, by a rather large margin actually.


He reads Ken Follet and I read the Baker Creek Heirloom Seed catalog and Calvin and Hobbs.





He grazes like a lowland gorilla. I enjoy making intricate meals.


He builds stuff and I plant stuff.




He is analytical and organized and pragmatic. Even his “junk drawer” is organized. Mine barely closes.  






He’s a clean freak and I’m a free spirit who would rather spend twenty minutes in a panic looking for something than taking thirty seconds to put it away. A Dalai Lama I am not, nor would I be mistaken for the poster child for Stephen Covey’s “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.” I do own that book; I just haven’t had the discipline to read it yet. That’s irony for you…




He’s the Steady Eddy and I tend to fall to pieces unexpectedly.




He’s a creature of habit. I’m just a creature.




I am highly effective at being highly ineffective. I’m also a bit difficult to be around when I can’t be outside or when I’m hungry. And seeing as how it’s subfreezing six months out of the year in Sconnie and  I don’t always remember to eat, the frequency of “hangry” is not uncommon in our household. BC’s patience is admirable and epic.



He makes me laugh. Today he said when I talk all he hears is “chocolate.” He also describes snow as dry raindrops. When he talks I hear “shoes” or “cats” or “what should I plant tomorrow…”




We never had the conversation about being exclusive to each other. We just “wicker” as BC likes to say and he even does the hand motion.



Just like our first hug, our lives fit together. I love him beyond measure and as the nightmare that was 2023 comes to a conclusion, I am grateful for his company.



But also eternally grateful for YouTube and seed catalogs. They saved our marriage before it even happened.



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